Refusing "Gentle Sympathy": From "Disability Sympathy" to "Diversity in Creation"
By Mau Kwok Lam
Introduction: When Being Pitied Becomes a Slow Spiritual Suffocation
"We know you are hurting. This is not your sin; it is simply a physical manifestation of a broken world, a 'disability' in your body. We will not condemn you, but we will walk with you to 'bear' this cross, and we encourage you to remain celibate, or live in accordance with your biological sex."
This new pastoral rhetoric is rising in some conservative churches attempting to project "progressiveness and inclusion." Instead of crudely accusing queer believers of "willful sin," they look upon them with gentle eyes and use the language above to define queer and transgender identities as a "non-moral disability." This attitude appears merciful, but in reality, it often becomes an even more insidious, suffocating form of chronic torment. Through gentle sympathy, it positions queer believers as "defective, passive victims," thereby castrating their spiritual subjectivity and moral agency (Moral Agency).
This article will bring you into the lived testimonies of real queer believers and clergy, and combine the inherent diversity of the biblical creation narrative to dismantle this pseudo-compassionate disability framework. When we refuse to be caged by "disability and sympathy," and instead proclaim our created beauty through a relational understanding of the imago Dei, our faith can finally release its true liberating power.
I. From "Disability" to "Created Beauty": Lived Testimonies of Affirmation
Contrary to the experiences of having to put on bulletproof vests at the church doors or being gently dismembered by one's family, when families and churches offer genuine affirmation and acceptance, the landscape of a person's life undergoes a radical transformation.
1. Australian Anglican and Uniting Church Reverend Josephine: A Fearless Calling Shared with Her Clergy Spouse
Reverend Dr. Josephine Inkpin[^1] is the first openly transgender priest to be installed to lead a church in Australia’s mainstream denominations. Throughout her transition and ministry, the support of her family and church has demonstrated a powerful force of affirmation.
Josephine met and fell in love with her wife, Penny Jones, who is also an Anglican priest, in theological college in the early 1980s. They have been partners in life and ministry for over thirty years. When Josephine decided to come out to the public and the church in 2017 about her identity as a transgender woman and her intention to undergo transition, it sent shockwaves through the relatively conservative diocesan environment.
However, she received unconditional love and support from her wife, Penny. Penny shared a simple, timeless truth: "I love the person, not the gender."[^2] At the same time, the then Anglican Archbishop of Brisbane, Phillip Aspinall, offered Josephine strong pastoral support, affirming her calling and eligibility for ministry.
In 2021, Josephine was appointed rector of Pitt Street Uniting Church in Sydney, where she and Penny continue to minister together as clergy partners. In Josephine's view, transgender identity is not a disability or defect to be "endured," but a sacred practice of aligning the soul created by God with the outer physical body. The affirmation and acceptance of her family and church mean she is no longer a pitied "patient," but a co-creator confidently proclaiming God's beauty from the pulpit.
2. The Service of Renaming in The Episcopal Church: Declaring a New Name in Community
While many conservative churches use "playing God" to condemn the name changes and physical transitions of transgender people, progressive churches choose to publicly affirm these journeys in the community of faith. In 2018, The Episcopal Church formally incorporated the "Service of Renaming" into its Book of Occasional Services.
This liturgy has deep theological roots, corresponding to the biblical precedents of God renaming Abram to Abraham, and Jacob to Israel, symbolizing the reception of a new identity from God during a major life transition and renewal of relationship with the Divine.
Many real transgender believers have found healing through this service. Examples include Jennifer Gonzales, a trans woman at Trinity Episcopal Church in California (who participated in her renaming service in 2019), and Drew Sitton at St. Paul’s Cathedral in San Diego (who participated in his renaming service on the Feast of the Transfiguration in 2023).[^1] When the priest lays hands on them in front of the congregation, announcing their new names and offering blessings, the entire community witnesses and pledges to support their new life. Jennifer described being addressed by her true name in front of God and people as a healing moment where her spiritual agency was fully affirmed. Drew likewise expressed that at that moment, he felt he was not a marginalized person to be pitied or tolerated, but someone who is unconditionally loved and cherished by God, both before and after surgery.
II. Dismantling the "Disability Framework": The Castration of Subjectivity Behind Gentle Sympathy
The fundamental shift these believers experienced is essentially a spiritual leap from the "Disability Framework"[^3] proposed by Mark Yarhouse to a "Diversity Framework."
Contemporary churches generally view diverse gender identities through three main frameworks[^4]:
|
Framework |
Theological Assumption |
Positioning of Queer/Trans |
Pastoral Practice |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Integrity |
Gender binary is an absolute order set by God; deviation is sin. |
Willful "sinners" rebelling against God. |
Condemnation, exclusion, and demanding "reversal" or repentance. |
|
Disability |
Gender dysphoria is a non-moral physical result of a fallen world, not personal sin. |
Sympathized and pitied "patients/victims." |
Non-affirmative care: Refraining from blame but limiting autonomy, opposing medical intervention. |
|
Diversity |
Diverse gender identities are part of God's diverse creation, which is "very good." |
Beautifully created "variants/co-creators" in God's garden. |
Affirmative practice: Fully affirming identity, supporting exploration and bodily autonomy. |
1. The Pseudo-Compassion of the Disability Framework
As the "Integrity Framework" is increasingly rejected by modern society for its harshness and lack of scientific basis, the "Disability Framework" has become a compromise for many churches that are conservative in theology but wish to project compassion.
This framework asserts that gender dysphoria, like nearsightedness, diabetes, or polio, is a "physical manifestation of the damage done to the natural order by original sin." Therefore, the suffering experienced by trans people is a "non-moral reality"—meaning that their gender incongruence is not a matter of morality, but a physical or mental defect, and not something they chose of their own free will.
However, behind this seemingly gentle framework lies a deep power imbalance:
-
Depriving Moral Agency: It defines queer identity as a "pathology" to be overcome. This means that any autonomous choice made by queer believers regarding their own bodies and relationships (such as taking hormones, undergoing surgery, or entering partnerships) is viewed as "succumbing" or "indulging" the illness, rather than an active, rational, faith-aligned choice.
-
Securing Cis-Heteronormative Hegemony: It presupposes that cisgender and heterosexual identities represent the "perfect, undamaged created design," while queer people are "broken products of a fallen world." This allows the church to continue "condescending and pitying" these "disabled" individuals with the arrogance of "healthy people," without ever reflecting on its own structural oppression of sexual and gender minorities.
2. "Do Not Castrate Me with Sympathy": A Spiritual Reclamation
As demonstrated by the testimonies of Rev. Josephine and believers in the renaming liturgies, queer Christians must not be viewed by the church as pitiful, "non-moral disabilities." When we wrap exclusion in the cloak of "pity," we send an implicit message: "You are imperfect, but because you are pitiful, we tolerate you."
This tolerance is not the grace of the Gospel, but the patronizing charity of ecclesiastical power. It demands that queer believers sacrifice their bodily autonomy, emotional and spiritual subjectivity just to buy a seat in the church pews. This is a desecration of the free will and unique dignity bestowed by God on every human being.
3. Sociological Evidence: Suffering Lies in the Structure, Not the Soul
A core argument of the "Disability Framework" is that the psychological suffering (such as gender dysphoria, anxiety, and depression) of trans and queer believers proves their state is "impaired and broken."
However, the Minority Stress Theory[^5] in modern psychology and sociology completely refutes this claim. Countless quantitative and qualitative studies show:
-
The mental health crises of sexual and gender minorities do not stem from their gender identity or sexual orientation itself, but from external environments of rejection, discrimination, microaggressions, and the resulting "internalized phobia."
-
When families and churches offer "Affirmative Acceptance," depression and suicidal ideation among sexual and gender minority individuals drop rapidly to levels indistinguishable from their cisgender/heterosexual peers.[^6]
If a "disability" disappears in a loving, accepting environment, then the impairment is clearly not a defect in the individual's creation, but a pathology of the environment and the system. What truly needs to be healed and corrected is not the body and soul of the queer person, but the binary, oppressive system that refuses to welcome diversity.
III. The Sacred Mosaic of Creation: Rich Creation Between the Two Binary Poles
To fully move past the "disability" mindset, we must re-examine the biblical nature of "creation." Conservatives frequently cite Genesis 1:27 ("male and female he created them") to argue that the gender binary is the only scriptural truth. However, as transgender Christian author Austen Hartke points out, this is a profound misreading of the text.[^7]
1. "Marshes on Earth" and "The Boundaries of Creation"
The creation narrative of Genesis 1 is filled with poetic descriptions of polar opposites: God created "the heavens and the earth," "light and darkness" (day and night), "land and sea," and finally, "male and female."
But if we look at the actual world God created, we quickly discover that it is not divided into black-and-white, absolute separations:
-
God created land and sea, but this does not mean the world consists only of dry land and deep oceans—where the two meet, God also created marshes, estuaries, swamps, and coral reefs.
-
God created day and night, but this does not reject the rich play of light and shadow during dawn and dusk.
-
God created birds of the air and fish of the sea, yet penguins, platypuses, and amphibians also belong to the created order.
The "polar opposites" used in Genesis 1 are a Hebrew poetic device called a merism—expressing a whole by referencing two contrasting extremes (encompassing those extremes and everything in between). Just as calling God the "Alpha and Omega" does not mean God is absent in the middle, "male and female" does not exclude the rich spectrum of genders and identities that exist between these poles and beyond.
2. The "More" of Nonbinary Identity: A Starry Sky Beyond Two Dimensions
Under the traditional binary mindset, nonbinary or transgender identities are often crudely understood as a halfway compromise of "half man, half woman." But nonbinary minister Rev. M Barclay points out that this "in-between" interpretation still holds the binary as the absolute framework:
"To say that you’re nonbinary innately suggests there is a binary, and my whole point is that there’s no such thing... I don’t think of myself as 'in-between' but as a 'more.' Just as someone who is bisexual shouldn't be understood as 'half gay and half straight,' it is a completely new experience. When we open the boxes, it’s much more a scattering of things than a line."[^7]
When we try to force every human being into a rigid "male/female" box, we are attempting to limit the infinite creativity of the Divine with our own finite understanding. This is not reverence for God's design; it is a denial of sacred diversity.
3. Gender Diversity in the Jewish Oral Tradition
In fact, the descendants of the writers of Genesis—the ancient Jewish rabbis—understood gender diversity far better than modern conservative commentators. In the foundational texts of oral law, the Mishnah and the Talmud, ancient rabbis discussed at least six distinct sex/gender categories:
-
Zachar (זָכָר): Biological male.
-
Nekevah (נְקֵבָה): Biological female.
-
Androgynos (אַנְדְּרוֹגִינוֹס): A person possessing both male and female physical characteristics.
-
Tumtum (טֻםְטוּם): A person whose physical sex characteristics are indeterminate.
-
Aylonit (אֵילוֹנִית): A person identified as female at birth but who later develops masculine characteristics and is infertile.
-
Saris (סָרִיס): A person identified as male at birth but who later develops feminine characteristics, or who has had reproductive organs removed/altered (often translated as eunuch).[^8]
This shows that even in the ancient Hebrew legal world, rabbis recognized that sex and gender were not a simple, static binary, and they designed legal and social frameworks to accommodate these realities rather than treating them as "sins" or "disabilities."
IV. Toward "Self-Possession" and Relational Being: A Dialogue Between Kaspar and John Wesley
If we shift our gaze from the biological spectrum to the depths of the soul, we must ask: what is the "Image of God" (imago Dei) implanted within us? In the discourse of personalist theology, this question is intimately linked to how we "possess ourselves."
1. What is "Self-Possession"? Why is it the Starting Point of Relationship?
In the context of personalist theology, "self-possession" is a core characteristic of a person as a "person," referring to an individual's capacity for self-determination and self-governance, refusing to be dictated by external environments, others' condemnations, or imposed frameworks.
Theologians point out a profound relational paradox: "One cannot give what one does not possess."[^10]
The ultimate goal of "self-possession" is not to retreat into radical individualism or self-centered inflation, but to enable "self-giving" (self-donation). Only when a person truly governs themselves, accepting and owning their authentic life in the spirit, can they make a complete gift of themselves to love God and neighbors. If a queer believer must hide their true self and wear a heavy mask in church to survive, they are spiritually deprived of "self-possession," and their giving and relational connections inevitably become superficial, defensive, or fractured.
2. John Wesley's Relational "Image of God"
John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, offered a deeply insightful theological exposition of the imago Dei. He argued that it is not a single, static physical or intellectual trait, but consists of three dimensions:
-
Natural Image: A spiritual being endowed with understanding, free will, and various affections.
-
Political Image: The steward of the lower world, having dominion and relational responsibility over creation.
-
Moral Image: A soul filled with love, compassion, justice, and holiness.[^9]
Wesley conceptualized the imago Dei as a breathing process: we inhale God's love and compassion, and we must exhale it to others. However, this relational image can only be fully realized when we live as authentic, whole persons. As Rev. M Barclay remarked, "It’s really hard to be your best self when you're in a cage."[^7] When an individual must hide their true self and wear a heavy mask to survive, their relationships with self, others, and God are deeply severed.
3. Kaspar's Struggle and the Caged Soul
The life journey of Hong Kong transgender Christian Kaspar Wan is a vivid illustration of this "caged soul."
Kaspar grew up desiring to be a boy since childhood. But at the time, there was a lack of understanding of transgender identity and gender diversity, and the church's misunderstanding, rejection, and condemnation of homosexuality were deeply entrenched. Consequently, he could only reluctantly understand himself as a sinner who was by nature offensive to God and without hope of salvation—a "homosexual/lesbian (TB)."
To avoid further "offending God" through suicide, he had no choice but to live as a "lesbian," using immense willpower to suppress his desire for intimate relationships with women in order to conform to the moral requirements he had learned in church since childhood. But this suppression of external behavior could not eliminate his true inner feelings. He felt he carried a "huge secret that could not be known," living every day in the fear of being exposed.
This chronic minority stress and spiritual suffocation eventually manifested physically—he developed severe eczema, with skin peeling off and growing back continuously like an indestructible monster. This "eczema monster" was not a random pathological misfortune; it was his body's somatic cry for the agency and subjectivity that had been stripped from his soul. Caged in a prison named "conforming to the binary creational order," he was unable to connect with his own body and soul, let alone live out Wesley's moral image of "inhaling the Lord's love and exhaling it to others."
4. Stepping Out of the Cage: Declaring the Soul's Truth
After years of existential crisis and a period of self-exile in France, Kaspar reached a spiritual breakthrough, declaring: "If I have a soul, my soul before God must be a boy."
This declaration was the starting point of reclaiming his moral agency. At the age of 32, Kaspar decided to undergo gender transition and surgery. This step was not "damage" or "disobedience" to the Lord's creation; on the contrary, it was a sanctifying practice of aligning his once crushed and hidden true soul with his outer physical body.
After completing his transition, he founded the organization "Gender Space" to serve the transgender community. He was finally able to tear down the dividing walls, establishing healthy relationships with himself, the community, and the Lord. His transgender experience facilitated his leap from a pitied "disabled object" to a "co-creator" living out the beauty of the Lord's creation.
Conclusion: Praising the Lord in the Diversity of Creation
We are not second-class products, nor are we "disabled" individuals who need gentle pity.
Every queer and transgender believer is a unique flower deliberately planted by the Creator in the garden of humanity. God created day and night, but also the beautiful dawn and dusk; God created land and sea, but also the vibrant marshes and estuaries. In the same way, God created male and female, but also transgender, nonbinary, and queer believers, allowing diverse lives to intersect.
The fearless stance of Rev. Dr. Josephine Inkpin proclaiming her calling from the pulpit, the profound gaze of Kaspar Wan after his long struggle, and the blessings received by transgender believers during renaming liturgies all declare to the church of this era: Our existence is not a "problem" to be solved, but a doxology of the Creator's infinite creativity (Diversity as Doxology).
When we refuse to be passive objects of pity and instead stand before the Lord with complete subjectivity, we shed the heavy bulletproof vest and put on the rainbow garments woven for us by God. Walking with the Divine, we will co-create a kingdom that is truly free, beautiful, and diverse.
Further Reading and References:
[^1]: Note: The experiences of Reverend Dr. Josephine Inkpin are based on public reports and interviews from the Uniting Church in Australia and the Anglican Church; Kaspar Wan's experiences are drawn from his documentary Kaspar X — If I Had a Soul (2015), public interviews, and website, https://kasparx.com/ ; the renaming liturgy cases of Jennifer Gonzales and Drew Sitton are drawn from official records of The Episcopal Church dioceses and mainstream media reports.
[^2]: Celina Ribeiro, "'It has been a gruesome week': Australia's first transgender priest on shame, love and identity," The Guardian, February 12, 2022, https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/feb/12/it-has-been-a-gruesome-week-australias-first-transgender-priest-on-shame-love-and-identity.
[^3]: Mark A. Yarhouse, Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture, (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2015).
[^4]: Austen Hartke, Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians, (Westminster John Knox Press, 2018), Chapter 3.
[^5]: Ilana Meyer, "Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence," Psychological Bulletin 129, no. 5 (2003): 674-697.
[^6]: Caitlin Ryan, et al., "Family Acceptance in Adolescence and the Health, Mental Health, and Safety of LGBT Young Adults: An Assertive Family Model," Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing 23, no. 4 (2010): 205-213. (A classic empirical study on the impact of family acceptance on the mental health of sexual and gender minorities.)
[^7]: Austen Hartke, Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians, (Westminster John Knox Press, 2018), Chapter 4 ("And God Said, Let There Be Marshes").
[^8]: Mishnah Bikkurim 4:1-5, Talmud Shabbat 136a, etc. (Ancient rabbinic discussions of multiple sex/gender categories in Jewish tradition).
[^9]: John Wesley, Sermons on "The New Birth" (Sermon 45), https://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-sermons-of-john-wesley-1872-edition/sermon-45-the-new-birth/
[^10]: Karol Wojtyła, The Acting Person, trans. Andrzej Potocki (Dordrecht: D. Reidel, 1979), 105-107. For discussions on the relationship between "self-possession" and "self-giving," see also his Love and Responsibility.